Maia Nebula!

The world is sick, but my smile is intact.

Saturday, January 31, 2004

Nihongo: A Five-Act Class

AcostaSensei
NihongoNoSensei
Gakusei1
Gakusei2
Gakusei3
Gakusei4
Gakusei5



Act I
(About thirty people sitting in front of their professor, correcting a quiz.)

NihongoNoSensei: "Niku." (Calls a name, marker in hand.) Douzo.
Gakusei1: (Writes.)
NihongoNoSensei: "Hajimemashite." Laura San. Douzo.
AcostaSensei: (Writes.)
NihongoNoSensei: "Inu." (Calls another name.)
AcostaSensei: (Wonders if the degree of difficulty was a mere coincidence.)


Act II
(Next day.)

NihongoNoSensei: (calls a name.)
Gakusei2: Hai.
NihongoNoSensei: (points at AcostaSensei) Kono kata wa donata desuka?
Gakusei2: (Looks at AcostaSensei) Wakarimasen.
NihongoNoSensei: (still pointing) Kono kata wa Laura San desu!
Gakusei2: Ah.
NihongoNoSensei: What do you say?
Gakusei2: Hajimemashite.
NihongoNoSensei: Laura San?
AcostaSensei: (Fumbling.) Hajimemashite. Douzo yoroshiku. (hopes this does not happen again.)


Act III
(A few minutes later.)

NihongoNoSensei: Ok, now open your book and read #4. (Reads a name from the list.)
(Nobody answers.)
NihongoNoSensei: (Reads another name.)
(Silence.)
NihongoNoSensei: (Reads yet another name.)
(Silence.)
NihongoNoSensei: (leaves the list on the desk and pretends he's searching around the class.) Laura San! Yonde kudasai.
AcostaSensei: (Pretends to giggle and reads, hoping this is the last time.)


Act IV
(A few minutes later.)

NihongoNoSensei: Now we're going to play a memory game. You name a word and its meaning, and the next person has to say that word and meaning plus one of their own. (Calls a name.)
Gakusei3: (Answers.)
NihongoNoSensei: (Calls another name.)
Gakusei4: (Answers.)
NihongoNoSensei: Laura San!
AcostaSensei: (Can't believe it. It's the third time.) Nande...? (Answers.)


Act V
(Next day.)

AcostaSensei: (Thinks three times in one class were enough.)
NihongoNoSensei: Now we're going to read the dialogue between Satou San, Yamada San, and Mira-- San. Mira-- San must be Miller, but in Japanese he's Mira--. (Calls a name.)
Gakusei5: (Reads very slowly.)
NihongoNoSensei: (Corrects a mistake.)
Gakusei5: (Stops.)
NihongoNoSensei: You didn't finish.
Gakusei5: (Finishes.)
NihongoNoSensei: Ok. Laura San! Yonde kudasai.
AcostaSensei: (Reads, resigned to the fact that this will be her life for the next four months.)

The End.

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