Maia Nebula!

The world is sick, but my smile is intact.

Monday, September 29, 2003

So Far Away

"So far away; Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door;
Doesn't help to know you're just time away;
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood;
Holding you again could only do me good;
How I wish I could, but you're so far away
One more song about movin' along the highway;
Can't say much of anything that's new;
If I could only work this life out my way;
I'd rather spend it bein' close to you;
But you're so far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door;
Doesn't help to know you're so far away
Yay-uh-ay-eee; Oh, so far away
Travelin' around sure gets me down and lonely;
Nothin' else to do but close my mind;
I sure hope the road don't come to own me;
Yet so many dreams I've yet to find;
But you're so far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door;
And it doesn't help to know you're so far away..."
--Carole King

Nothing weird has happened, but I feel as if all these tears wanted to flow... and distance feels like the hardest test ever put into my heart, like an endless wall to climb with my own weak hands.
So far away... it hurts...

Thursday, September 25, 2003

A Lesson on Diplomacy

To my friends:

If you really want to invite me, ask me first before assuming I can't go. And if you assume I can't go, don't tell me.

That's politeness.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Yukio Mishima Rules!

I just finished reading Confessions of a Mask, and it's one of the best books I've read! I love it when I feel as I've lived beside the main character, shared his/her adventures. It happened with Oriana Fallaci's A Man, and now it happened with Mishima's book! Wow, I ought to keep reading his books. Besides, the fact that he committed seppuku makes me want to find out more and more about his point of view on life.
Mishima rules!

Friday, September 19, 2003


1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why?
I love The Beatles. Their songs are fit for all kinds of moods, and they're musically rich. They are my idols!

2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why?
Well I hate all that crappy pop/rap stuff like Britney Spears, Eminem, and a whole lot more. Oh and everything concerning country.

3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person?
Well... Paul is still cool, but I think he wouldn't be married to Heather Mills. I don't know... If The Beatles weren't The Beatles, they would be four working-class guys from Liverpool. I prefer to befriend anonymous people.

4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show?
Nah, never, can you believe it?

5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music?
I think the thirst for money is what brings out those pursuits. If the music industry doesn't get the last cent for checking out what music we like and what music we don't like, then we're all being thieves. It really sucks that music is an INDUSTRY.

A Lifetime Is Never Enough

Amid, the pain, amid the sorrows, amid the thousand nails that scratched my skin and pierced my soul like an old balloon... I found you. You looked right into my soul and saw a blooming garden in places where everybody else could only find dead weeds and mud.
You made me smile.
Suddenly my gloomy days became ever so bright, and I learned there was another path in life, out of that in which I carried a burden like a stoic slave. You held my hand, and together we climbed the obstacles or smelled the pretty flowers. This happiness could have never been possible without you.
Now that time and distance make us swim against furious tides, I can only say Thank You for standing next to me despite it all. Thank you for teaching me to see this life with smiling eyes, and above it all... Thank you just for being who you are, with virtues and flaws, with laughter and tears... because who you are is all I ever want to embrace.
Aishitemasu, Minori...

Wednesday, September 17, 2003


I had a terrible experience with Acrónimos last night. I had earned a lot of points, but unfortunately, I hadn't noticed that something had gone totally wrong with the game. I had to cancel lots of points from many people, and once again I'm losing. Maybe it's a lesson from life. Yeah.

On the other hand, I still can't find myself in academic terms. Where the heck am I supposed to go? In what direction? Am I a lit major or a language major? In which of these do I suck? I'm afraid of never finding my path and just getting lost amidst the darkness. I guess I'll have to start asking everyone I know, although I know the true answer can only lie within myself.

Am I condemned to wander around the world to find myself? Are those who discover how big this planet is condemned to do so? The more I know, the more I doubt.

I know right now that I can't take all this weight alone. I wish I became a brushstroke, and that Minori and I could write the word "hito".

One leans onto the other.

Oh yeah, and we do.

Monday, September 15, 2003

You're My Home

"When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be alright
You say 'use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night'
You're my castle, you're my cabin
And my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house
'Cause you're my home."
--Billy Joel


1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed?
Laura Camila Acosta Amín is exactly the same. Olavia Kite was a later addition, or rather than that, an alternative.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?
I would be called Jessica or Brittany. HAHAHAHA GOTCHA!!! By no means I would change my name... except if the Acosta-Amín were to change to Honda.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)
Okay, here it goes. My mom was a diehard fan of Little House on the Prairie, and her favorite character was Laura Ingalls. Don't laugh. It's serious. I found out many years later that Laura Ingalls Wilder was a writer, so I'm proud of that. On the other side, my paternal grandparents always wanted to have a daughter named Camila, but they didn't have another daughter after my aunt, I think, so I got to be Laura Camila. I love my name.
If you want to know why I'm Olavia as well,... it just popped up in my mind. I was going to use it for a character on the next story I wrote, but I ended up adding the last name Kite after the Beatles song Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite! , and I liked it so much I adopted it for myself. I even have a fountain pen with the name engraved.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?
I met people with super cool names in Dubuque Iowa. Here are some examples:
Minori Honda, Kotaro Takizawa, Foo Chi Tao, James Pollock, Brian Ellis, Mary Ask, Kaoru Maeda, Yusuke Kanaguchi, Yoichi Shimizu, Ryan Hanlon, Andy Rosenbaum, Matthew Parsons,... I'll keep adding if I remember. Some of these people weren't really nice (like Mary Ask), but the names are still cool.
Oh, and I hate the name Carlos.

5. Is the analysis of your name at / / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it?
Well I don't believe in that stuff...

Monday, September 08, 2003

Sunshine In My Eyes

Throw out the ghosts of the past
There is no need to regret
No, nevermore
He keeps a picture of me
There was another me there
But I don't need to recall
The storms that struck last night

For I have
The Sunshine in my eyes

He scratched my name out
And bled and kept a scar
He thought I would feel the same
Living so far
But I wake up to see
The brightest, bluest sky
And my heart irradiates
So much warmth

For I have
The Sunshine in my eyes
And there will be no cloud
No storm
No torment anymore
It's not just to forget
it's no past, no regret
'Cause if I think of someone
It can only be you

The Sunshine in my eyes
Is sparkling everywhere
And if I think of someone
It can only be you

Shine, shine for me
Shine inside me
It can only be you

Friday, September 05, 2003


1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most?
I hate drying and storing the dishes. I don't know why, I simply can't stand doing that. Well it's not that bad, but if anyone other than me can do it, much better for me.

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing?
I like washing the dishes. I don't offer myself all the time to do it, but if I must do it, I really don't mind.

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed?
Just clean as it's needed.

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules?
Uh... no. If things are clean, and nothing gets lost, I'm happy.

5. What was the last thing you cleaned?
I guess my room? Oh no, it was the cleaning lady who did it. Oops!

I'm like a warrior, just fighting against life, and all I get at the end of the day are wounds.