Maia Nebula!

The world is sick, but my smile is intact.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

This is how I'm feeling today.

Who wants to be crushed?

Saturday, July 26, 2003

Hang On!

The day you give up on me

I'll write

I'll write a thousand poems

like a thousand paper cranes

I'll write so much

you will trace my exact position

from a trail of letters

and you will hear

every single written word

wondering where are you dear

and thus I'll find you

and pull you back

and hold your hand

ever so tight

and then I'll whisper in your ear

"Hang on!"

TFF! (The Friday Five!)

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
I think a movie about my whole life would be long and boring. I'd rather divide it into various movies... or maybe I'd just make one for now, about my life in Iowa. No, based on it, I'd have the adventures of three friends who go roadtripping around the US because they're bored in Iowa. No, that's too stupid. Let's leave it in my life in Iowa. It would be called... 3x5, like John Mayer's song. Then I'll base the whole experience in pictures. Everything begins with a picture, or something, and at the end she (me) decides to go on the roadtrip of her life without taking pictures in order to live the experience to the fullest. Yeah, exactly what John Mayer sings.


2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
Let's see... let's arrange a 12-track Soundrack CD!

1. 3x5 - John Mayer (this would be the main theme)
2. TEGAMI - The Blue Hearts
3. BETTER DAYS - Scudelia Electro
4. BEAUTIFUL - Christina Aguilera
5. GOODBYE TO YOU - Michelle Branch
6. HIDAMARI NO UTA - Le Couple
7. BIG YELLOW TAXI - Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton
8. SAN FRANCISCO - Scott McKenzie
9. I WILL - The Beatles
10. THE REMEDY - Jason Mraz
12. ALL MY LOVING - The Beatles

Hm, I still have songs to place there... I'll make it a double CD. I'll finish this later.

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Live action... That would be way better, more serious and all. I need real landscapes!

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Good question... Let's see... I think I wouldn't use actual Hollywood actors.
ME - Michelle Branch. She is the only one who could qualify for the role of Laura Acosta!
MINORI - he's very unique... who could play him? I'll think about this and post it later.
KOTARO - the main actor from Battle Royale (not Kitano! the boy who survives and escapes with the girl). He looks a lot like Takizawa Sensei! Does anybody know his name?
FOO - Jet Li! Yeah, that would be fun!

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
I'll write about this later. (Hey, this FF has made me think and think!)

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Sorry for Sinking Your Ship

I wonder why the human race wasn't reduced to ashes a long time ago. We are so ferocious, so incapable of forgiving; we are mad dogs with an elephant's memory.
What if the US had decided to place hundreds of nuclear bombs wherever there were conflicts... What would be left? The US? What's the use of subjugating people that way, if there will be no people left after the attack? No people, no plants, no animals, except for a bunch of cockroaches and indelible pictures of those who stood before the walls. Were YOU fighting to keep the cockroaches?

I despise patriotism. It's such a harmful idea, that of thinking it's a good deed to protect a spoonful of earth which represents this idea, and this idea, and this idea... Politicians fight for their ever-so-abstract ideals, for the stupid piece of earth they fell on when they were dropped from a womb, thinking it's worthy enough to die for it. Too bad they're NOT the ones who end up dying.

People used to say Japanese soldiers in the Pacific War were so loyal to the Emperor, their last words were dedicated to him.

Minori told me the story of a soldier who was about to die in the field. The last words he uttered were "Okasan, okasan..."

("Mother, mother...")

Monday, July 21, 2003

Where are the tears,
Little boy,
Of your pearl-shiny

This is something I wrote while I lived in Iowa. I find it strange that it's not written anywhere, but it remains in my memory as a sweet treasure.

Ah, nostalgia...

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Ultimate Boredom

So yeah, I'm so bored I'm going to answer a long quiz about myself, whether you like it or not. Hey everybody, I know you NEVER read this website, so what the heck!

Full Name: Laura Camila Acosta Amín / Olavia Kite
Nicknames: Laurita, Lauri, Lars, Acosta Sensei, Lau, Lauchan
Age: 19
Birthday: July 5
Astrological Sign: Cancer
Chinese Zodiac Sign: Rat, last time I checked
Pets: None, I'm allergic to dog/cat hair. I used to have an insect-eating plant, though. Her name was Molly. I also had this bird, Tallahassee, but she died and I didn't notice.
Height: officially, 1.67m.
Weight: around 60kg
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair: very very dark brown, some people call it black
Piercing: one on each earlobe
Tattoos: None!!!!!
Favorite Color: green/blue/purple/certain shades of pink & red
Birthplace: Bogotá, Colombia
Been in love: Hai
Been to Europe: nope
Been toilet papering: nope
Been toliet papered: nope
Loved somebody some much it made you cry: Love is not supposed to make you cry... but certain circumstances actually make you do so, so yeah
Been in a car crash: yeah, in front of an all-boys' school. Very embarrassing.
Color of socks: right now? blue with an orange fishie
Favorite Number: 4 & 7
Movie: TRON, Shrek, Star Wars (the original trilogy, specially), Spirited Away
Food: Japanese, Arabian, Colombian (mainly from the Atlantic coast)
Days of the week: I don't care right now
TV Shows: that top ten they do on People & Arts, Technopolis, Futurama, Daria... oh and those cute independent short animations they have on Locomotion
Toothpaste: Colgate, oh and this lemon-mint Close-Up, it tasted like Ricola!
Favorite flower: magnolia, or almost any other flower
Sport to watch: olympic gymnastics
Fast Food Restaurant: none; that crappy food messes up my stomach
Favorite drink: any juice is more than fine
What color is your bedroom carpet?: white
Where do you see yourself in ten years?: Uh... in Japan?
What do you do when you're bored?: THIS
Friend who lives the farthest away: in this very moment, Takizawa Kotaro and Kamakshi Mubarak
Most annoying thing?: right now, the cold weather and some people's attitude
Best thing: sunny days
Bedtime: like 2am
What book are you reading now?: Un Uomo, by Oriana Fallaci (the Spanish translated version, though)
What's on your mousepad?: the mouse, of course
Favorite board game?: Othello
Favorite magazine?: Muy Interesante
Favorite smell?: the smell of good food!!!
Least favorite smell?: most of them
Worst feeling in the world?: disappointment & impotence (you know, like the world is crumbling and you can't do ANYTHING about it!?)
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?: "What time is it?"
Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?: Oh yeah!
How many rings before you answer the phone?: one or two
What is the most important thing in life?: knowledge
Storms, scary or cool?: Cool if they don't happen in Iowa
Do you like to drive fast?: NO
Is the glass half empty or half full?: it's got water, that's all that matters
What's under your bed?: my Beatles Anthology book
If you could meet one person in the world, who would it be?: like for the first time? uh... uh... uh... I'm not that eager to meet people. Let's say Honda Yu.
Coffee/ice cream?: sometimes coffee, sometimes ice cream!
Chocolate/Vanilla?: chocolate, definitely
Blanket/Stuffed Animal?: stuffed animal, I guess
Silver/gold?: both of them look nice
Tobacco/alcohol?: THEY BOTH SUCK
Coke/Pepsi?: Pepsi, Coke is too sweet
Love/Social Live?: LOVE is ALL YOU NEED!
Do you think you have a lot of friends?: FRIENDS are something I quite don't have in this country
Are you outgoing?: not really
Are you fun?: depends on who's asking... in Colombian recently-turned-adult terms, I'm the personification of Boredom
Do you consider yourself better than other people?: sometimes it's nice to feel on top of the world
Are you popular?: like NO!
Flirty?: nah
Pretty?: you mean commercially pretty? no, not at all
Do people tell you you're pretty?: HAHAHAHAHAHA you wish!
Who are you crushing on?: crushes are for suckers
How are have you gone?: uh?
Are you negative?: I think so
Do you attend church?: not anymore
Do you like being around people?: let me reverse the question: do people like being around ME?
Last person you kissed?: my father when he arrived from work, some hours ago
Last thing you said?: "Hasta mañana, Papito!" ... my father went up to sleep
Last person you talked to?: my father.
Last person you talked to on the phone?: my sister.
Last person you talked to online?: Minori
Last person you hugged?: can't remember if it was my father or my mother
Last person you got an email from?: Minori

Do you argue with the most?: my sister, but it's typical sister fight. I absolutely LOVE her!
Do you always get along with?: my maternal grandpa!
Is the most trustworthy?: pretty much all of my close relatives
Makes you laugh the most?: my sister!!!
Has the coolest parents?: me!!!
Has the coolest siblings?: me!!!
Is the smartest?: me!!! hahahahaha

In the last 24 hours have you...
Cried?: nah
Been kissed?: on the cheek, yes of course
Felt stupid?: a little
Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't?: nope
Talked to an ex?: NO
Missed an ex?: like NO NO and NO!!
Talked to someone you have a crush on?: crushes are for suckers who want to suffer
Had a serious talk?: oh yeah
Missed someone?: Of course!!!
Hugged someone?: I think so, yeah

[Spell your first name backwards]: nimA atsocA alimaC aruaL / etiK aivalO
[The story behind your email address]: all of them? it'd be too boring. Okay, one of them: I used to be kind of infatuated with stars, especially with a small group in the Taurus constellation. At that time I was learning Portuguese, so... yeah, that's how it goes.

Describe your...
Shoes: I've got a lot, baby hahahahaha
Favorite Pants: my Abercrombie & Fitch red corduroy pants
CD in stereo right now: lots of Michelle Branch mp3 files
What are you wearing right now: my baggy blue pants, red turtleneck, blue jacket, multicolored shawl
In my mouth: teeth, tongue, and saliva
Wishing: I could go road tripping with Minori and Kotaro again
After this: finish talking to Minori and get a good night's sleep!
Talking to: Minori!
Some of your favorite movies: TRON, Shrek
Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months: University!!!!!!!!!
4 words that sum you up: LAURA CAMILA ACOSTA AMÍN

Las cinco del viernes

1) ¿Te vas de vacaciones este año?¿Dónde?
Tuve ya unas larguísimas vacaciones en Dubuque, Iowa, así que no creo que vaya a salir de nuevo hasta dentro de mucho tiempo.

2) ¿Aprovechas las vacaciones para leer? Si es así, ¿que libros vas a leer este verano?
Estoy terminando Un hombre, de Oriana Fallaci. Me gusta leer todo el tiempo, aunque no lo hice mientras estuve en Dubuque, no sé por qué.

3) ¿Te reunes en vacaciones con familiares y amigos que no ves durante el resto del año o por el contrario, te escapas de los conocidos?
A la familia siempre es grato verla, no desaprovechamos oportunidad para reunirnos. La frecuencia de reuniones no varía de acuerdo al calendario laboral.
Los amigos --o más bien las amigas del colegio-- son totalmente impredecibles, y el hecho de no haberlas visto hacía un año no fue suficiente para que al menos fueran amables. Voy a dedicar una entrada del diario a ellas, mis amigas que cambian de actitud como una función senoidal.

4) ¿Cuál es tu plan preferido para perder el tiempo?
Sentarme frente al computador y leer blogs.

5) ¿Si el dinero no fuera problema, cómo disfrutarías 15 días de vacaciones?
Me iría por toda California con Minori, o lo visitaría en Japón.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

Celia Cruz Forever

I used to think Celia Cruz was immortal. Today I learned that she wasn't. In fact, she died recently after battling against a brain tumor for a long time. She had said she would die singing, thinking she would overcome this disease. I hope she was able to let music be the last sound ever heard from her live body. Celia will always be the Queen of Salsa, and one of the most admirable characters in the history of Latin music. Rest in Peace.

This is my new blogchalk:
Colombia, Cundinamarca, Bogota, Spanish, English, Laura, Female, 16-20, writing, singing. :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

A Bit of Feminism for a Change

Before I write what I want to say, let me introduce you to the Colombian standard of beauty:

(Need I say this image is property of SoHo magazine, Terra Networks?)

So yeah, this girl is called Camila Barreneche, she's 16, and she's what guys worldwide usually expect Colombian women to look like. One can tell what I'm saying is true when walking around a mall, which I do quite often. Many girls resemble this model, or any other supermodel I could've used as an example. Why? The answer is simple, and I'm sure all of you readers know it: models are objects of desire, and women want to be wanted (not all, of course, but the vast majority). Thus, they follow whatever trend to become objects of desire as well.

There's nothing wrong about wanting some attention from guys. After all, we human beings are destined to pair up and propagate our putrid race around the poor old world. However, the advent of mass media has brought strict rules to virtually every aspect of life. I recognize the fact that there were fads long before globalized media, but... here's one of my points, it's GLOBALIZED media.

Latin America is a region of naturally short and chunky people. Not obese, of course, just not thin at all. Since our life models have come from the US and Europe ever since we were colonized and the US declared independence, we have learned to accept their life as the prototype to follow. I don't know where this thin-is-in model came from, but it has expanded all around the planet with an incredible force, propelled by the media.

The thin-is-in phenomenon has pervaded Colombia, as expected, and it seems the anguish about violence has been soothed by a constant overconcern about physical beauty. Perhaps we've been watching too much TV, perhaps we've been listening to too much pop music. Suddenly, girls feel an urge to become popstars, or at least resemble them. Is it because the press has taught us that commercial women don't need to worry about real life?

I know women in the US are much more relaxed about this. Popstars are popstars, people are people. However, American women don't have to worry themselves to death about an ongoing civil war nor poverty, problems which actually strike Colombians. According to the media, being pretty gives women freedom to forget these general concerns; after all, a commercially beautiful woman can become a model, earn lots of money, and be loved.

The beauty issue is not only a female whim. It is fed by men who have learned their lessons on life from the media as well. They have learned about the power of sex with the orgasm as ultimate goal, and the great importance of 'using' the correct instruments under the correct circumstances to achieve It, the Climax, the Prize of all Prizes. The correct instruments are none other than the 'correct' women, of course the ones approved by the media, which seems to be a new Bible for the world. Meanwhile, women are brought up to the idea that love is the most important thing in life, and that there must be measures taken in order to achieve the Prize of all Prizes, Love. I must remark that this love is being dangerously confused with lust. Love and lust seem to be the same thing now, but while the man's prize is an instant gratification, the woman still seeks something beyond this. I presume this idea is being changed gradually as women are taught to seek instant gratification too.

I have recently visited a web forum on Colombian women. Men from many countries around the world, especially Britain and the United States comment on their wonders (I dare not say "our" since I don't really fit into their description), especially their physical attributes. "A below average girl walking around the mall is still supermodel quality!" remarks one of the participants (Click here to read the forum). Unfortunately, not all of us are like supermodel quality. Where do the rest go to achieve realization in their life? I'm not saying finding a man is the ultimate female goal, but as I said before, beautiful women are supposed to gain the freedom not to worry anymore about life. Thus, is there a place for real women who have their own concerns rather than being able to show off their diminute waistline and linear navel? Is the press ever going to accept the idea that not all of us need sex as a god or beauty as weapon for success, that being in possession of a brilliant idea doesn't make us less worthy than those in possession of a generally accepted body? Worst of all, are men ever going to realize our main goals in life don't necessarily involve becoming their objects of desire and pleasure?

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Useless Stuff to Let Time Fly By

Look what I found. A test to see what San-X character I am. I was hoping I would be Ginshari San, but it seems he isn't even in the test (yeah, I cheated right after I finished to see other possible results). Well, the good news is that I'm actually someone I like a lot:

What San-X Character Are You?

Yep! I'm the grim Kogepan! It would've been nice if I had been Amaguri, since I have an Amaguri ornament in my backpack. Dakedo, it's ok! Kogepan rules!!! If I ever go to Japan, I'm going to buy lots of San-X stuff, and I'll surely include the lonesome Kogepan!

And yeah, sometimes I feel people think of me as overcooked and burnt...

PS: Did you notice the great amount of Engrish in the little sign?

Monday, July 14, 2003

A oscuras (Canción de la mujer invisible)

A oscuras me tiento
Y pregunto, "¿estoy ahí?"
En medio de un negro charco
De agua salada.
En vano he surcado el mundo--
Creí que era,
¡Creí que sentía!
Pero una tarde al viento
Oí un silbido,
Y donde mis pies descansaban
Ya no había sombra.
No quiero encarar al sol
Si ya no hay cara,
Ni mirar al horizonte
Cuando no hay ojos.
A oscuras me tiento
Y aúllo, "¿estoy ahí?"
Y del aire llueven ríos
De agua salada.

Saturday, July 12, 2003

Friday Five/Las Cinco del Viernes

Es la hora de las cinco del viernes y Friday Five, y no quiero responder ninguno.... así que démosle al afán.

1) ¿Cuando sueñas, puedes acordarte perfectamente de lo que has soñado?
Claro, muchísimas veces.

2) ¿Alguna pesadilla recurrente?
Tenía pesadillas en Dubuque, pero ya no. Volví a tener sueños rarísimos y geniales. Tuve una época en la que soñaba muy seguido que moría de un tiro en la cabeza. Recuerdo especialmente aquella pesadilla en la que yo era una disidente de algún estado y me llevaban en helicóptero a la cárcel. Yo intentaba fugarme frente a la cárcel, entonces la guardia (era mujer) me disparaba en la espalda y luego se acercaba a rematarme en la cabeza. Yo sentía los disparos y todo.

3) ¿Sueñas en blanco y negro o en color?
¡A tooooodo color!

4) ¿Tu sueño más divertido/agradable?
Siempre hay uno nuevo, loquísimo y agradable (bueno, no siempre es tan agradable). No tengo un favorito.

5) ¿Si te despiertas a mitad de un sueño agradable, eres capaz de vovler a dormirte y obligarte a seguir soñando con la misma historia?
No, definitivamente no. Tengo que tener demasiado sueño, abrir los ojos accidentalmente, y volver a dormir. Sin embargo, cuando eso sucede el sueño toma un giro inesperado.

Ahora, Friday Five:

1. Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it?
My first best friend was called Soly Alvarez. I met her in kindergarten. We were very very very good friends, we composed songs together and all. In fourth grade they split us up, which damaged the relationship very much. Things would never be the same after that.

2. Are you still in touch with this person?
Not at all. I heard her say scornfully once that we were like girlfriends (yeah, like girls in love). I was totally hurt by that comment. Then she left for Qatar because her father was transferred. Now she studies in some über-fancy university in the US, I guess.

3. Do you have a current close friend?
I have Lynn, Mare, and Pepin (their actual names are Lina, Maria, and Sandra). I think they're going to be my lifetime friends, or at least I hope so. There's also Ippo, Nails, and Dimanche (Adriana, Naila, and Carolina), but I don't see them that often. I must remark that in Dubuque I had Minori, Kotaro, and Andrea. I still keep in touch with all of them.

4. How did you become friends with this person?
Lynn used to stick with Pepin in eighth grade. I was alone. Then, one day, I was walking all alone and Pepin pulled my arm and made me walk with them. That's how we became a group. It was that simple! Mare came just a bit later, she was sticking with Nails, and... I don't know, we were all talking to each other and all... and well, Lynn, Mare, and Pepin remained... (by the way, I gave Pepin her nickname just today! she didn't have one till now) There was also Val (Valeria), but she disappeared. I don't know, she's studying, she's impossible to locate, oh well... Long life to my friends!

5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why?
I wish Val were closer than she actually is. I wish she didn't think we're fans, but friends. I wish she thought just a little bit less about boys and just a little bit more about us. But I can't change her psyche. I also wish Soly hadn't said what she said about our old friendship. However, there is no chance we could still stick together since we became so different when we grew up.

That's it. Friday Five, done. I'm feeling full of energy and I don't know why!!!

Thursday, July 10, 2003

N E Thang

I wish our walking distance
Were an earthworm's thousand miles.
Time has fallen like a piano
Dangling from a moving company's old rope,
But this substance in my heart
Has made me swim right through solid pain.

Do you see me smiling?
There's a monarch butterfly fluttering
At the other side of the sphere:
I am there, I am her,
Stumbling to catch the words
You spoke to yourself yesterday;
And while you sleep on your cheek
I lay secrets in your ear.
You may not know:

There's a river where I used to remember you,
At the other side of my eyes...

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Problemas técnicos

Este blog me tiene loca. No he podido ponerlo como yo quiero. Mañana (hoy porque ya casi amanece) voy a dedicarme todo el día a poner este blog como una uva. Sí señores...

This blog has driven me crazy. I haven't been able customize it the way I want. Tomorrow (today, the sun is almost rising) I'll devote myself to get a beautiful blog. Oh yeah...

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Love the Critics

Un poemita para los que aman la buena literatura:
(dónde están los críticos? quiero un bestseller!!!)

La luz tenue,
Que contrasta con la cámara del sol,
Refleja tus ojos quejumbrosos
Convertidos a la ira
De los muertos que retumban
Entre el negro devenir
De un águila loca
Que desafió a las hespérides.
El arcano alarido del amor me llama
A compartir mi clandestino lecho con
El tibio ojo de una serpiente,
Entre sus estertores malignos
Y la incipiente mortandad que infunde.
La cúspide del fausto deseo
Toma forma de la nolición
Que acompaña tu atáxico rostro...
Quisiera macerar el momento
Y poder decir que esto nunca ha acontecido.

I want to thank my sister for being such a nice girl, and for belonging to my family, and for liking me this much!

ESO DE ARRIBA NO ES UN POEMA... MEJOR DICHO, NO LE PONGAN CUIDADO... y dejen que nos divirtamos con un humilde homenajito...

Saturday, July 05, 2003







Las 5 del viernes

1) ¿Cuáles eran tus juguetes favoritos de pequeño?
Tuve muchos muñecos de peluche pese a ser alérgica al polvo que acumulan, pero muy especialmente me gustaban los muñequitos chiquititos. Me gustaba imaginar muchas situaciones y recrearlas con mi hermanita. Teníamos muñequitos chiquitos y Lego muy bonitos...

2) ¿Cuál fue el juguete que siempre quisiste, y nunca conseguiste?
Los juguetes que yo quería eran caprichos temporales, así que si no los conseguía después ya no los quería. Quise una maleta de La Sirenita, pero después me dejó de gustar La Sirenita... el juguete de mis sueños me llegó a los nueve añitos, y heme frente a él: ¡¡¡¡EL COMPUTADOR!!!!

3) ¿A que juegas ahora?
Neopets! Y en persona, a veces me gusta jugar Othello. Por cierto, ¡¡¡Minori nunca me enseñó a jugar Hanafuda!!!

4) ¿A que juegos tradicionales jugabas (comba, charranca, parar, escondite, matar...)?¿Cuál era tu favorito?
Jugué muchísimo al escondite, que en Colombia se llama las escondidas. Jugaba escondidas con mis primos, con los vecinos, con las niñas del curso... ¡¡Era lo mejor!!

5) ¿Jugabas a algún juego típico sólo de tu zona, o que os hubierais inventado los amigos?
Había un juego que se hizo popular en Bogotá cuando yo tenía ocho años, llamado Chocolate, en el cual hacíamos una rueda y tratábamos de pisar a alguien con sólo un salto. Mi curso era prácticamente adicto a ese jueguito... Por otro lado, el trompo ha sido una tradición del altiplano cundiboyacense que no se ha perdido nunca. Y qué más... en agosto Bogotá se llena de cometas... ¿Se me ocurre algo más? Tal vez haya muchos otros juegos, pero tengo que irme y no puedo quedarme aquí pensando.

Para mis lectores, contesten en Speak: ¿Cuál era su juego favorito de infancia?
For my readers, answer in Speak: What was your favorite childhood game?


Stalkers Go Home

Today I'll answer a Friday Five and Las 5 del viernes. Yeah I have nothing better to do, maybe, but I love answering questions. Good questions. No, I don't like answering somebody's sick and pervert questions, and I hate being harassed by sick and pervert people who throw away all their writing talent to talk about absolutely disgusting things I'm not interested in by any means. No, I do NOT feel any interest towards sick sexual topics. Stalkers go home.

1. What were your favorite childhood stories?
I've always loved my grandfather's childhood memories. His life has been so interesting that I've never given up listening to what he's got to tell. On the other side, I have a clear memory of my father's twisted version of Little Red Riding Hood, in which she took a taxi and other cool stuff... It invited me to write stories that were new and unpredictable. And apart from that... when I was a kid I read pretty much everything. I sort of still do.

2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children?
My grandpa's stories, and well, all my books... I want my children to be good readers, to get a broad perspective of the world.

3. Have you re-read any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything?
Hm... no... I just get to understand a lot of new things whenever I reread books... Oh and the Baby Sitters Club were my literary crush when I was eleven, and later I thought they

4. How old were you when you first learned to read?
Three years old.

5. Do you remember the first 'grown-up' book you read? How old were you?
Cien años de soledad, by Gabriel García Márquez. I think I was eleven or twelve years old.

That's it in English.

Thursday, July 03, 2003

Las 5 del viernes

Ahora pertenezco a un webring. No sé si eso sea bueno o malo, igual no creo que mucha gente quiera ver este blog. Creo que mi ocio e insomnio me han llevado a todo esto. Así pues, cumpliendo mi propio castigo por meterme a cosas raras, contestaré las últimas 5 del viernes (del pasado viernes).

1) ¿De qué color pintarías la última naranja del cesto?
De verde, para que, siendo la última naranja, no haya sido tan apetitosa como el resto. ¡Oh tristeza para aquél que se quede con la última naranja!

2) ¿Con qué mirada esperarás que baje un ángel negro de la última nube del día?
De pronto no tiene mirada... ah sí, con un par de ojos que en realidad son agujeros negros que absorben hasta la luz... y por eso es la última nube del día! porque ante la llegada del ángel negro el día se torna noche para siempre!!! JA JA JA JA JA (risa macabra)

3) ¿Con qué cuchillo clavarías la mirada de tu enemigo?
Con una punta de lanza prehistorica (mal pulida debe doler mucho, y si las miradas mataran... jejeje)

4) Dime el color de los ojos que no te miran
Verdes o azules o miel. Lo sé por experiencia. A mí jamás me miran los ojos claros. Claro que a mí me encantan los ojos oscuros y profundos...

5) ¿Por qué el cigüeñal de mi motor no tiene un nido para que puedan viajar sin cansarse las cigueñas de mi pueblo?
No sé, pregúntale a tu mecánico.

Y estas fueron mis 5 del otro viernes. Este viernes, esperen más.

Creo que mi creatividad está retornando.

Mario Benedetti

Hace un par de horas, mi primo Adrian me preguntó si me gustaba Mario Benedetti. Respondí que en alguna ocasión tuve un libro de él en mano y no me gustó, pero a decir verdad, yo no estaba segura de mis palabras. Tal vez, esa vez que tuve el libro (que recuerdo muy bien, estaba leyendo Valeria Salamanca) ni siquiera le puse atención. Así que me di a la tarea de leer poesía de Benedetti.

Entre lo que leí, había poemas bonitos, como Currículum, y muy bonitos, como El Otro Yo. Al cabo de unas cuantas lecturas rápidas (y la búsqueda infructuosa de un análisis de la poesía de Mario Benedetti) supe qué era lo que tanto me molestaba de él, aún sin haberlo leído concienzudamente: me molestaba que él, junto a Sabines, se ha convertido en el producto literario por excelencia; ése que siempre se tiene a la mano para demostrar determinados sentimientos. Si se quiere hablar del sexo "macho" con un trisito de amor guardado se usa a Jaime Sabines, para hablar del amor con alitas rosadas disfrazado de sentimiento diferente a todos los demás se usa a Mario Benedetti. ¿A qué mujer no le han dedicado un poema de Benedetti en sus años cursis? Bueno, que yo recuerde a mí nunca me han dedicado un poema en la vida, pero sé que Táctica y estrategia figura en el repertorio romántico de siempre, sin falta, el facilista.

James Pollock solía decir en su clase de Poetry Writing que el uso repetitivo de una expresión le quita vida y la vuelve cliché. La única esperanza para los clichés es revivirlos, darles un uso innovador. Benedetti y Sabines se están convirtiendo en viejos clichés de la literatura latinoamericana. Si realmente queremos rendirles homenaje por el genio que se supone que cada uno alberga dentro de sí, no debemos usar sus novedades como se pasa por radio una nueva canción de pop o se usa una prenda de moda, tantas veces y para objetivos tan banales que al cabo de un rato no queda más remedio que recordarlos como algo que marcó toda una época... pero que ya no se usa.


Okay, here's the part I ommitted from the last quiz... Here it goes. Let's do it really really existential & poetic!

I HURT: many times, when I speak... Worst of all, it's not that I don't think before speaking and my words hurt, it's that I think so that the words I speak hurt
I LOVE: the sound of the rain from my bedroom, good music, the internet, writing good stuff, singing, Japanese coffee cream pan, Almond Crush Pocky, Xylish Fruity Mint, San Francisco, Napa Valley, Chicago, the taste of sushi, the taste of shawerma, The Beatles, Billy Joel, Michelle Branch, Minori's kare raisu, the feeling I get when I start to understand a new language, the way Kotaro says "sumimasen", going to office supplies stores, Minori, Paul McCartney's face when he was younger, holding an interesting conversation, Milo, seashells, good science fiction, gazing at the stars...
I HATE: lusty guys, soccer-fan buddy-dependent guys, superficial people, weak minds, guys with female obsessions, consumerism/pop culture, how consumerism tells people who to love and who to hate, the way media has forced girls into eating disorders by convincing them that the only way to be successful is being sexually attractive (not necessarily pretty), women as objects, racism, classism, xenophobia, SoHo magazine, the way the whole world is going!!! It drives me nuts!!!
I FEAR: there will never be a safe place in the world, consumerism will finish my writing career right before it starts
I HOPE: this terrible consumerist world will finally let me make my dreams come true, my future life will turn out fine
I FEEL: my life has a gleam of hope, and a beautiful one
I HIDE: from someone I want to insult really bad
I DRIVE: the spaceship of my life... towards a great galaxy I'm yet to see
I MISS: those wonderful last weeks in DBQ, all the time I had then in my hands to enjoy with Minori and Kotaro,... and yeah I miss Minori, but you already know that
I LEARNED: pessimism is not always the answer to my questions
I NEED: to write a new story, to see Minori again (and spend a looooooooooong time with him), to make sure my major is the right one, to get rid of my cold,
I THINK: sometimes too much...

It's time to sleep. Wanna say something about my stupid blog? Speak up!!!

Hey!!! More Useless Quizzes!!!

I love to fill them out!!!

last cigarette: I don't smoke, thank you very much
last kiss: that's totally private, and yeah, it was sad...
last good cry: the night before leaving DBQ
last library book checked out: hm hm hm I believe it was that Elizabeth Barrett Browning stuff I needed for my Poetry class thing
last movie seen: it must have been Battle Royale... horrible movie
last book read: completely? Patriotism, by Mishima Yukio
last cuss word uttered: I don't utter those words!
last beverage drank: some hot celery water my mom gave me
last food consumed: chicken and cooked green peas
last crush: you mean a bad crush? nah, better not remember...
last phone call: Maria del Carmen Celis!
last time showered: this morning! yay!
last shoes worn: my red shoes
last cd played: The Essential Billy Joel
last item bought: ice cream at Crepes & Waffles
last downloaded: some song... ah, Michelle Branch
last annoyance: that awful cold that kept me in bed
last disappointment: hm... hm... can't remember
last soda drank: Coca-Cola at my uncle's
last thing written: this stupid blog!
last key used: Minori's apartment's, if I'm not mistaken
last words spoken: "vea usted!"
last sleep: last night, it was wonderful... you don't know how good it feels to recover from a bad cold
last im: Sandra Pérez
last weird encounter: oh that time when Sandra Pérez and I saw Carlos Márquez from afar and jumped into a record store
last ice cream eaten: Crepes & Waffles... some vanilla and chocolate, I don't remember the name
last time amused: some minutes ago, talking to my daddy!
last time wanting to die: I don't remember
last time in love: NOW
last time hugged: a few hours ago, by my mom
last time scolded: very hard? maybe like some months ago, when my cell phone was off and my parents wanted to call
last time resentful: during and after my tragic stay in Miami
last chair sat on: the one I'm sitting on to type....
last lipstick used: that dumb plum lipstick that never lasted more than a few minutes
last shirt worn: the pink shirt I'm wearing right now
last time dancing: a few days ago, with my sister
last poster looked at: my sister keeps her room closed, so I can't see her posters...
last show attended: hm hm hm... oh that laser show at the planetarium! that was way cool!
last webpage visited: my stupid blog

This is getting long and boring...

I'll take the liberty to abolish some part that looks like another quiz I already answered.

current clothes: pinkish red pants, pink shirt, purple sweater, blue jacket (yeah I have a cold, I must keep warm)
current mood: thoughtful
current music: Milonga del marinero y el capitán, by Los Rodríguez
current taste: none... I had my dinner long ago
current hair: straight, dark brown, parted to the side, not very interesting... like almost always
current annoyance: persistent cough
current smell: I can't smell right now
current thing i should be doing: calling my friends to tel them about my birthday
current desktop picture: Shrek
current refreshment: none
current worry: how am I supposed to invite my friends to my birthday if I don't want to use the phone?

I suck.

This Is Not Working

I don't like this blog. It's stupid. I'm writing in English, and I'm writing about nothing. I used to write my deepest feelings and ideas in my old website, but now that I can't do it IT SUCKS!!! Besides, nobody reads it anymore. People used to like my old website. They don't like this anymore...

Maybe it's not a matter of whether the website has a nice design or not. After all, the soul of the website is my writing, and not the design. I'll try to improve the design, though, to make my writing even more pleasant.

Plus! I will begin writing in Spanish occasionally.

That's all.